fairest of them all.

your mind sees what it wants to. 

my mind saw all of my troubled nightmares, 

collectively compacted onto my body.

wailing on my bathroom floor-

a habit i have known since a young fourteen 

operating in a mass of vanity.

there was never a sliver of time,

i didn’t torture my being over it’s appearance

from what's imitated in glass.

on a lagging monday,

i believed myself to be the ugliest i have ever been.

how pathetic it is to have my act of courage

be just putting on a pair of pants.

my grand wish, 

for the past seven days,

would to keep on among communities invisible.

revealing danielle to be a lousy hypocrite

practicing the idea that looks do matter

so vulgarly poisoned by how i am perceived.

praying to god, those wouldn't catch my hyperfixations

of a grocery list of features i drown in.

how many minutes have been wasted away

obsessing over my appearance?

i can’t be doing that- there is so much to do!

the biggest disturbance is the amount of time

burned away sad over it. 

those menacing thoughts overrule my thoughts that 

feel as juicy and pleasant as when you first bite into a peach.

we will never know what we look like,

what others see, what their standards of beauty are.

on a sunday, where i cursed myself over and over again.

for a body, thousands pray for everyday.

plucked from the heavens by my angels,

several strangers decided to build up my confidence cell by cell.

unknowing the stupid strength it took me to put on makeup

to parade on the stage of the world just hours before.

the goggles us as humans can wear are quite haunting.

but this too shall end.

for i have those who love my witty remarks and deep clemency.

without a notice of the baggy clothes, my puffy eyes.

all who make my troubled tick be but a passing thought.